Hold It Between Your Legs

So I want a BLT before the tourney. The sports bar here does not serve BLTs and I want to sit quietly somewhere and eat instead of parking outside the deli on the main floor.

No BLTs, but they do have a club sandwich. So I have just ordered a club sandwich, hold the mayo, hold the turkey.

Yes, I'm THAT GUY. I swore I would never be THAT GUY. THAT GUY annoys the crap out of me.

Then I decide, what the hell, so long as I'm being THAT GUY I'm getting the fruit cup instead of fries and I'm going to insist on my fruit cup containing no melon. If you're going to be THAT GUY you might as well commit.


Blogger StudioGlyphic said...

Dupea: I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.
Waitress: (She points to the menu) No substitutions.
Dupea: What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?
Waitress: Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two - a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.
Dupea: Yeah, I know what it comes with. But it's not what I want.
Waitress: Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind.
Dupea: Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee, and a side order of wheat toast.
Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast...an English muffin or a coffee roll.
Dupea: What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?
Waitress: Would you like to talk to the manager?
Dupea: ...You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?
Waitress: I don't make the rules.
Dupea: OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Dupea: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress (spitefully): You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Dupea: I want you to hold it between your knees.
Waitress (turning and telling him to look at the sign that says, "No Substitutions") Do you see that sign, sir? Yes, you'll all have to leave. I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm.
Dupea: You see this sign? (He sweeps all the water glasses and menus off the table.)

1/30/2006 04:03:00 PM  
Blogger The Millers said...

I'm going to start calling you Louis.

Did they still serve it as a stacked sandwich? A BLT with an extra layer of dry toast would have been fantastic.

1/30/2006 08:47:00 PM  

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