My 2004 Semi-Annual Holiday Gift Guide
I'm going to let out a little secret about myself here. I love giving presents more than anything else. Except possibly a nice seared piece of ahi, especially the way they do it at AQUA with foie gras and a potato cake and a pinot noir reduction. And being with my wife. And our cats. And TiVo. So I love giving presents more than anything except those four things and all the things I forgot about that I love more than giving presents. Five things. I love recursive sentences, because I love sentences and things that are recursive, so I love recursive sentences. This year I had to help a friend out with client gifts and (naturally) suggested poker chip sets for the men. Hollywood is weird in that gift-giving around the holidays is expensive and rigidly structured - woe betide someone who inadvertently gives an exec's assistant a better gift than the exec gets. (This is a purely hypothetical woe-betiding, of course, because this has never happened in the history of the universe. Assistants get stylish but ineffective pens or cheap scented candles while execs get TiVos, trips to Burke Williams, or really expensive booze.) Gifts have to be nice and preferably somewhat trendy - the Bose noise-cancelling headphones are popular this year, as are iPods. The nice thing about the poker-chip-set-as-gift is that it's very scaleable. People at the top of the list get an aluminum-cased set of 500 13g tri-color chips (not exactly casino spec, but they feel nice), while people at the bottom get a similar (smaller) case with 300 chips that are maybe a step above Diamond 5g plastic chips. Maybe. I didn't spend a lot of time handling them, because why would I? I found a place that was offering something like 20% off orders over $100, and since we were ordering in the neighborhood of 25-30 sets, obviously we were going to qualify. I looked around and it seemed like they were offering the nicest bang for the buck and they only screwed up the order a little, shorting us ...well, okay, they shorted us around 1000 chips, one color not quite making it into the shipment, and they still haven't made it right and time is running short... but I have faith. I've got almost all my shopping done - friends and family are well taken care of at this point, except for one measly detail: I haven't the foggiest idea what to give my wife. Any ideas?